May 14

Dear Mayor Ted,

Everyone wants to be a “ten” or the best, perfect. It’s weird that it’s such a common thing. And its so easy to see that no one is perfect, yet that doesn’t stop us from trying to be perfect and hating ourselves for our failure.

 I would guess your family has been religious. I don’t know about yourself but most likely your heritage hands down a faith. Just a generation ago most American families identified with a Jewish heritage or one Christian denomination or another. Of course the faith options are almost endless. My mother’s family was Catholic. I was raised Catholic. My father’s family was less religious. Though my grandmother was raised Lutheran and had a private faith she did not attend church. My grandfather was an atheist socialist. He was a radical in the early 1900s in Sweden, before Sweden became known for its social programs. Knut claimed he fled Sweden under threat of arrest for his activism in the Social Democratic party.  He was president of the baker’s union in Portland. My mother and Knut would often argue over the meaning of life. My mother always retold the time they discussed the petri dish fertilization of a human embryo, grandpa was sure it would be proof to my mother that there was no god.  I don’t know what was said between them, my mother did have strong faith, but at some point my grandfather said to her “I wish I had your faith”. 

Faith is helpful. It isn’t always easily defended but it’s always great to have.

When my 7th and youngest child was about two years old my husband announced he no longer believed in God.  Though I had abandoned my Catholic upbringing, we had based the decisions of our twenty years of marriage on our understanding of the scriptures.  Sometimes our understanding was less than accurate. We were trying really hard to be tens. 

I hope my husband finds his faith again, it’s been 25 years now. We’ve been through a lot together.  Trying to be perfect has never once been a benefit. Yet, we both fall back into that pattern when the pressure is on.  I don’t always know what the right thing to do or say. In fact most of the time I’m pretty sure I’ve missed or messed up the right path.  That’s where faith steps in. Faith is for when you don’t know the right thing to do, when the problems are bigger than the known solutions, but you still must take action, looking for God’s path. And faith is a gift from God. It’s something you ask him to provide. No one is born with faith. It’s always something you receive. To receive faith requires admitting you need it, that you’re not a ten.

I hope you had a nice Mother’s day.