April 19

Dear Mayor Wheeler,

This is an odd time and place for me to write to you.  I’m at my office in Clackamas. Generally I have at least one of my partners onboard. I work with two of my daughters. But today they are taking care of other chores and I have the office to myself.

Today I made a call to Clatsop County’s assessor’s office to ask a question. My client asked me the question, I asked the assessor.  The person I spoke with was unnecessarily impatient with me and treated me as though I was an idiot. I didn’t know everything she knew, that was true, but I’m not an idiot.

Years ago I worked at Menucha Retreat and Conference Center. They always started their new hires in the kitchen. In fact the dishroom. I was a 40 year old mother of seven who had been out of the workforce for 20 years now working in the dishroom at a retreat center. I actually really liked the work however I was quickly advanced to kitchen assistant and then into the office to assist the secretary there. However, my first few months in the kitchen were the most interesting. Two experiences stand out.

One time a guest walked into the kitchen with a simple question, she looked at me, and I guess decided since I was washing dishes, I must be learning disabled. She asked me instead if there was someone she could talk to about a problem she had. Being disrespected for the work I did was a new experience for me.

Another time the head cook, who had all the power in the kitchen, demeaned a guest for coming in the wrong door. There were two doors into the kitchen from the dining room which were marked – “in” on the right and “out” on the left. The signs were small above the doors. However, the cook treated the guest like she was soooo stupid not to know the system. A guest? Expected to know the cook’s all important system? Obviously, her power had gone to her silly head. She wouldn’t have make it long in the real estate business, where the client is always the boss.

On my way to the office I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, “Hidden Brain” with Shankar Vedantam. It was a rerun, I’d heard it before but today it was especially poignant. The podcast was about the corrupting effect of power. (https://www.npr.org/2018/01/23/579976635/the-power-hour) Shankar interviewed Dacher Keltner author of the book “The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence” .

His research has revealed that it’s a person’s compassion and generosity that is the usual cause of gaining power and influence but once achieving a position of power nearly everyone starts to lose his/her ability to empathize. It’s a weird phenomenon. We can certainly think of many powerful people who are not empathetic.

I remember feeling very hopeful you were an empathetic person when you were elected. And perhaps you consider yourself empathetic. I don’t think that opinion is widespread. Two people I respect told me you can’t listen to the powerless because re-election is coming and those with money, who will help you be re-elected, are also deaf to the powerless. That’s a shame. Power can be so useful in the right hands. Where or where are the right hands?