April 13

Dear Mayor Wheeler,

Last Friday was my birthday, though I made my usual visit to the Delta, I took a break from emailing you. Did you miss me?

The houseless know a lot of things the rest of us are stupid about. Like the best place to get propane. Propane prices are all over the map. How is it you only spend a few cents difference from gas station to gas station but if you're buying propane it might be $1.89 a gallon (Coastal on Hogan Rd) or $3.87 a gallon at the Chervron in Troutdale?

 There is a stamp on each tank that some outlets pay attention to. It tells you when the tank was last evaluated by an expert, for safety. Some employees are very careful to check each tank for that dated stamp. If it's expired, you're out of luck, they won't fill it. Other employees at the same outlet fill everything. Some outlets fill everything but charge more. Some outlets are friendly, some are obviously judgmental. When I'm filling the tanks for my friends I am usually treated well by the employees but maybe with a bit of concern, am I being coerced?, not that anyone has asked. I'm just an old lady doing something unusual.  

 I receive a lot of praise and thanks from just about everyone I run into except when I'm having propane tanks filled, not sure why that's different. Maybe it's because propane tanks represent independence and resistant to the general opinion of the houseless as being "other" than ordinary people. It represents someone trying to take care of themselves. Making their tent "home".

 I am very uncomfortable with praise. I think I've mentioned before I'm just doing my little piece. It seems big to some people, but it's actually very inadequate. Money and time would make me much more effective. I have to disappoint every week but who can find fault with me? Even I forgive myself. But I'm pretty much a failure, and others won't accuse me, some refuse to see it. Today I forgot the plates, salt and pepper. The guys ate their soup out of cups.

  I am fortunate to have a wealthy benefactor. I would be unable to fill the propane tanks without their support. Today I filled 11 tanks. We had to trade out two of them because the dates were expired. That cost me a bit more. I won't be able to fuel them again this season. Hopefully spring is really coming.

Frani