March 13

I haven’t told you a lot about myself but my story is largely my children’s story and their story is really the only difference between my homeless friends and my seven children. It’s called a safety net.

My husband and I have never had a lot to offer our children and the fact that there are seven of them has magnified our inadequacy but somehow we have managed to stay married and been able to welcome our children home when necessary, which has prevented some suffering.

In 2008 we had five adult children living at home. The recession was the primary cause but each one had their personal story too.

Sarah was recently divorced and was starting nursing school. She fast tracked her education but could only achieve her goal if she could quit her job and attend school full time. That meant moving home for 18 months. 

Martha had been diagnosed with Cushings Disease and even though she had been awarded a full master’s scholarship to California college of the Arts she was too sick and they allowed her to postpone one year. (She later published “One More for the People” a memoir with a chapter dedicated to our family meetings. This last year her book “The End of my Career” was nominated for an Oregon book Award).

Rachael broke up with her boyfriend and needed a place to keep her stuff and her self between working tours on National Geographic’s Limblad Expedition’s Seabird, the eco-cruise company she worked on.

Michael worked at Tads Chicken n dumplings but hours were cut during the winter, he was planning to move in with some guy friends when they’d all saved up enough money for first and last. 

Simone had just graduated from high school. And had not decided what to do next. She also worked at Tads.

What makes me think about our safety net is how often my adult children have needed a bit of help. None of us really like it. Mike and I enjoy having the house to ourselves. And I feel compassionate on whoever needs our help - adults like to control their environment- impossible when you live in someone else’s home and maybe especially if it’s your parents home!

Martha has moved home again since graduation though she’s renting a room now from a friend. 

Though Ana avoided moving home during the recession she moved in for over a year just a year ago, bringing her three children with her, when she divorced her husband of 20 years, addiction kills marriages.

Just this week my youngest, Simone, 27, who currently works for the same cruise line Rachael had, was injured while on ship in Belize. She’s home now. She had surgery Saturday to repair an artery and two nerves in her hand cut by glass from a wine glass that broke as she was polishing it.

·  And that’s why my email is late in coming this week, I’ve been nursing my very grateful daughter. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be out of work but no matter how long it is, it’s very unlikely she will face homelessness. She won’t be “swept” because she has no family to take her in. She’ll be able to heal and keep her job because she’s not likely to lose her ID,phone, or bed. She’ll be able to keep her appointments because she has family to take her where she needs to go. The surgeon told us it’s very important to keep her hand warm, in fact she needs to stay warm all the time, she’s not even allowed to put ice in her drinks, because keeping her veins open is so important for healing.

·   

The contrast between my family’s lives and the lives of my homeless friends is heartbreaking. They are like my kids, same struggles, but their struggles lack the safety net. In fact in place of a safety net they are harassed for having needs, they are despised because they can’t take a shower.

It’s late and I’m saying goodnight now. 

I’m grateful my daughter will heal and she has a safe place to lay her head tonight. 

Frani