March 16
Dear Mayor,
When I moved to Gresham in 2004 I applied to be a Multnomah County volunteer chaplain. Subsequently I volunteered at the Justice Center for a couple of years. Chaplains Lewis Kyle and Scott Duncan were inspirational and godly men. I appreciate the goodness they invested in me. Even though I felt I was an encouragement to the female inmates I visited, the “justice” system as I got to know it was crushing. One day I realized I could no longer make myself go into that institution wearing the chaplain vest. Somehow it said to me that I was something other than they. And I also felt like wearing it said I approved the way they were treated. I now refer to the Multnomah County Justice Center as the “Injustice” Center. Its no individual’s fault. It’s the system and it’s the rules. Like the writer of the book “Seven Years a Slave” wrote “there were good men who were slave owners but the system was evil.” An evil system makes good people into perpetrators of evil.
I have considered running for office. However, I don’t see how to avoid the chains of convention, every politician I know has failed. Every, single, one. I have protested outside the justice department several times in the years since I was a chaplain. The experience of standing outside with a sign is more righteous and uplifting then “ministering” inside ever was.
So today at the delta was particularly hard. Some days are like that. It was a smaller than normal group. I knew most of the folks but there was one new guy named Bob.
Dean was there too. He lives in his van He’s been homeless for about five years. I met him when he was just newly homeless. For many years he had lived in a church and acted as a security guard. The congregation gave him little compensation but he was grateful to live there free of rent. Then they had a change of leadership and they made him move out. He sued for back wages and won but without a work history, health and an address he’s been unable to find more employment. He lives on disability now. He does not use drugs. He has Diabetes 2 and is quite overweight. He has trouble walking. Today when I say him he was not well. He couldn’t get out of his van. He didn’t have his shoes on and his feet looked awful. His van has become a disaster primarily because he can’t bend over to clean up and the slider door is broken. He lost his wallet in the squalor of the van and so he can’t fill his tank. Consequently, he missed his doctor’s appointment this morning. I told him to follow me to the gas station but when I broke away from talking to the new camper he’d left.
Bob, the new guy, has a truck with a fifth wheeler attached. It’s an older model. He told me he sleeps in the truck because he’s afraid of being robbed and he can’t see what’s going on around him when he’s in the RV. He has a small income, I don’t know what kind but he’s also got this fixation with a Christian couple suffering persecution in Pakistan. He talks with a contact there often and has sent money to help protect them from persecution. I had a friend who was swindled by a Uganda “contact” years ago and I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening here. He assured me he had numerous contacts that confirmed the legitimacy of the situation. I am dubious. And I told him so.
It reminded me of a woman I spoke with when I was a chaplain. She was a homeless woman who had seven children, like myself. She was a young woman so I assume her children were in foster care. She told me she wanted to get out of jail so she could continue to take care of her homeless friends. I realized I could be like her. I could lose sight of my true responsibilities and give myself solely to the group of people and activities that made me feel good.
I asked Bob how many children he had. Five he said, but they won’t have anything to do with him. I told him that didn’t matter they still needed him.
My experience has been doing what is mine to do is less appreciated than doing something for someone I have less obligation to. My daughters seldom express appreciation when I go out of my way to spend time with them, but they’ll easily complain they never see me. One of the reasons I don’t “burn out” bringing supplies to the homeless is I know I’m only responsible for my assignment. I can’t be what they really need. But I can lessen their suffering a little.
If I was mayor I could have a much greater effect.
Frani